


It’s Kind of Hard to Say

by brotective



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, F/F, Flowers, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, by that i mean kanon has anxiety and talks abt it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 03:33:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brotective/pseuds/brotective
Summary: Misaki hadn’t really had a crush before, but recently, she’d started daydreaming about Kanon’s lips—and Kanon in general, really. Kaoru takes it upon herself to help with her woes.





	It’s Kind of Hard to Say

**Author's Note:**

> this is my very self-indulgent solution to my love for kaoru seta and my love for misakanon going on with the same intensity at the same time. god bless
> 
> also the minor ships are lowkey hidden but if you know me you already know it’s kokohagu and kaochisa and if you don’t know me... surprise it’s kokohagu and kaochisa

Misaki thought about kissing Kanon yesterday, and it was really weird.

Maybe she was a little bit of a late bloomer, but she’d never had a big crush before. Sure, she’d thought a couple of girls at her school were pretty, but never like this. So she was daydreaming a little while trying to make sense of Kokoro’s ideas, and suddenly, Kanon was holding her hands, leaning in to kiss her, and Misaki was leaning back—because she wanted to, mind you—and then she was snapped back to reality, but Kanon’s lips looked so soft, and they had a slight gloss to them, and her hair framed them in the exact way that drew Misaki’s eyes right to them.

The next day, she couldn’t stop looking at them. The band had decided to all hang out at a café after practice, and even as Eve welcomed them with open arms, Misaki could barely pay attention to her order.

Kanon was sitting right by her, after all, smiling as the band members talked.

“It’s too bad Michelle couldn’t make it,” Hagumi commented, putting a whole croissant in her mouth.

Misaki knew all about the cocktail party effect. It said that when you were distracted—usually by another conversation, but it was close enough—your brain tuned out the sounds around you, but you could clearly pay attention to your name. She also hated the fact that her brain had decided Michelle was her name, too.

“Hey, it’s okay! Our songwriter could!” Kokoro said, picking up her tea and accidentally splashing some of it onto Kanon with her excited, almost animated movements. “Oh, sorry, Kanon! Misaki, could you grab some napkins?”

Misaki nodded, standing up. “Yeah, sure.” She wandered off to find some. Cafés always had the dumbest layouts. She liked Tsugumi and all, but the café still had a dumb layout. She felt sudden sympathy towards Kanon for leaving her with all three of those idiots, but she really didn’t want to leave her dress soaked in tea, either.

“Excuse me for a moment,” Kaoru said, standing. “I believe Misaki may need some assistance.” She walked over to where she was, using her superior height to look for napkins while Misaki struggled.

“Please help me,” Misaki said, before noticing the counter the box was on. “Oh, never mind. They’re just over here.”

“Ah, but you need assistance with more than that, do you not?” Kaoru asked, with all of her dramatic flair.

“I do not,” Misaki said, pulling out significantly more napkins than she needed to and ignoring eye contact with Kaoru. “I’m gonna just go help Kanon wipe tea off of herself.”

Kaoru nodded. “That’s how it shall be, then. I suppose this isn’t the time or place anyhow. Still, I do believe that we must discuss something at some point.”

Misaki sighed. “Fine. I’ll talk to you when we leave, okay? I’ll have to walk Kanon home first, but you can come with us, and we can talk on the way back.”

“Most wonderful.”

Some time passed as the band teamed up to clean off Kanon while Eve and Tsugumi helped get the tea off the floor, and eventually, it started to get late.

“We should go,” Misaki said, standing up. “It’s almost 7:00, and I need to start my homework.”

“Okay!” Kokoro said, hopping up from her seat. “Hagumi, want me to walk you home? You said you don’t want to be alone, right?”

Hagumi nodded, smiling brightly as she stood as well. “Mhm! Thank you, Kokoron!” She waved to the other members. “Bye-bye!”

As she and Kokoro left, she took her hand, and Kokoro began rambling on about something fun she saw at school that day as Hagumi laughed. Was there... something between those two?

Whatever. Misaki was more worried about whatever it was Kaoru had to say.

“I hope you don’t mind if I join the two of you,” Kaoru said, standing to Misaki’s right and securing her firmly between her and Kanon.

“No, I’m okay with it!” Kanon said, smiling. Misaki found that she was smiling, too.

“Wonderful. Onwards, then!”

And so, the three of them began the relatively short voyage to Kanon’s house. Kaoru kept gesturing just a little too widely with her hands, pushing Misaki just a little closer to Kanon. Eventually, she had to mumble out a quick “Sorry, Kanon,” when Kaoru pushed her into her.

“Oh, it’s okay! Don’t worry about it.”

“You sure?”

Kanon nodded. “Absolutely! I don’t mind if you want to walk a little closer to me.” She tucked a small strand of hair out of her face, smiling up at Misaki. “Oh, thanks for walking me home again, by the way. It really is nice to have people with me.”

“Ah, it’s no problem. I like spending time with you.” Misaki smiled back, and Kanon’s face turned pink. “Oh yeah, thanks for coming with us, Kaoru. Kanon probably won’t mind, so you can talk about whatever you wanted to talk to me about.”

She didn’t want to admit she was curious about what sort of dumb shit Kaoru would have thought of while she was cleaning a warm beverage off of Kanon, but alas.

“Oh, you truly must want to know.” Kaoru chuckled softly. “I’m afraid it may have to wait, for this news is between the two of us.” She winked, and Misaki rolled her eyes as Kanon looked away. Misaki looked at Kanon, but her expression was imperceptible.

“Are you sure? I mean, we’re not that far from my house, so... um, I can find my way there!” Kanon suggested, still not looking at either of them. Misaki didn’t trust her words for a second.

“No, it’s fine.” Misaki looked back at Kaoru. “If she really can’t know, then it’s okay.”

It only took another couple of minutes to reach Kanon’s house. She waved goodbye to the others before heading up, careful not to trip on the way into her house.

Misaki turned to Kaoru as soon as Kanon shut the door behind her. “So, what did you want to tell me?”

Kaoru laughed. “Walk with me. We’ll make haste to your home.”

Misaki started walking. “All right.”

Kaoru, unfortunately, began talking. “My dearest Misaki, you are in love, are you not?”

Misaki tensed up. “W-What?”

“The look in your eyes... your intense care for her well-being... those fleeting gaze at her... ah, young love.”

“You’re only a year older than me, it doesn’t count as—! And... and... I’m not even in love in the first place!” Misaki protested, trying not to look too bothered by the fact that Kaoru was smarter than she had thought.

“You aren’t? It seems I may have misread you, then. Does Kanon not entrance your heart?”

“Well, I...” Misaki wasn’t sure what to say. “Um... I guess we’re close.”

Kaoru shook her head. “That is hardly an answer. Regardless, I’d like to help you with her, if you’d care for it.”

Misaki gave her a look. “You? I know you’re good with women and all, but... I don’t think I’m exactly a princely type like you. I’d kind of just like to stay with one girlfriend, rather than, you know... not to disrespect you, but I could never do that.” She laughed, trying to soften what she said.

“Ah, if only my girlfriend weren’t contract-bound, then I would stop at once. Still, trust me when I say I am well-practiced. A well-choreographed romantic scenario would do well.”

Misaki snorted. “What, you’ll put Kanon and I on a boat on a lake at night, so we can look at the stars or something? Sure, and Hagumi and Kokoro can put on fish costumes and sing for me to kiss her.”

Kaoru went wide-eyed. “No, that’s... that’s... brilliant! How fleeting... a spotlight, as well, for you two. I’m sure I’m tall enough to hold it...”

“Absolutely not. I’d rather turn around, knock on her door, and ask her to take me into her room and make out with me. Hell no.”

“Well, that’s always an option. I do admire your courage; or, if not that, your humor.”

Misaki shook her head. “This is just embarrassing... I mean, I wasn’t even sure if I liked Kanon? I think it might be obvious now, though.”

Kaoru appeared to be thinking for a moment, her one brain cell trying its best. “Hm, perhaps I simply have an eye for this sort of thing. After all, I have tamed women’s hearts for at least half a decade. But I digress. Will you allow for my assistance?”

Misaki sighed. “Sure. But no cruise ships, no fancy dinners, nothing like that. Not that she doesn’t deserve all of that, but I don’t want to pressure her or anything, you know?”

“As I expected. Do not fret, for I’m sure she’ll notice your care for her, kitten.”

Misaki really hoped she would.

About a week later, Misaki had honestly almost forgotten about Kaoru’s proposal to help her win Kanon’s heart. Then, after school, Kaoru texted her to come over, and the details cane flooding back pretty much instantly. She wondered what the hell was going to happen next.

She texted her back to say she would be there soon, but had to find Kanon first.

Kanon didn’t take long to appear at their usual meeting spot. “Hi, Misaki!”

“Hey, Kanon. Kaoru wants me to meet up with her, so do you want to walk to her place with me? Just, you know... I think I might want to talk to you about something after I’m done with whatever she wants me to do.”

Kanon nodded. “Sure! It’ll be nice to have some extra time to walk together. I wish we could be in the same year, so we could have more classes together!”

Misaki laughed. “We probably wouldn’t be seated too close together, anyway. You’re right, though, I’d like class better if you were with me. Anyway, let’s go. I don’t want to think about the last time I let one of the three dummies blow up my phone...”

And so, they walked. Kaoru lived a bit further off, as she went to the other school in the area, but Kanon and Misaki didn’t mind the walk.

“The sky is nice today,” Misaki commented. “It’s the same sort of blue as your hair.”

Kanon twirled a strand of hair in her hand. “Oh, I guess it is, huh? You know, um... your hair always reminded me of tree bark. It’s kind of... smooth, and the same sort of dark brown. I don’t know, really, I just thought I’d say it.”

“Oh. Really? Now that you mention it, I think I could see it.” Misaki smiled. “Thanks for walking with me. It’s more fun to have someone with me, especially someone like you.”

Kanon tilted her head in confusion at that, and Misaki silently cursed herself for saying something like that. “Someone like...”

“Well, you know. You’re sweet, and reliable, and really easy to talk to. I love the band, but I wish I could spend more time alone with you.” Nailed it. Misaki definitely didn’t have the most blatant crush in Japan, much less the most blatant crush in the world.

Kanon turned a pretty shade of pink, like the beginning of a sunset warming the light blue sky. “I’d like that, I think. You know, I don’t really know if I’m nice, or reliable, or easy to talk to, but... to be honest, I want to think I am.” She smiled at Misaki. “I’m trying to work on loving myself. I think the band is helping a lot with that.”

It took all of Misaki’s strength not to tell her that she loved her even when Kanon didn’t love herself, that she wanted to kiss her when she was confident and when she was insecure, and that she’d hold her when she was happy and hold her when she was sad.

“I think there’s a lot of you worth liking. We all really care about you, Kanon.”

They reached Kaoru’s house, and the time seemed to have flown by.

“Oh. We’re already here...” Kanon seemed somewhat disappointed as her voice trailed off, but Misaki didn’t really know if there was anything she could do about it.

“Yeah...” She lingered for a moment, not wanting to leave Kanon behind. “Guess I’d better head in. Wait out here for a minute, okay?”

“All right!”

Misaki walked in, only to see that Kaoru was sitting there with a bouquet. Misaki could recognize a few flowers, but not most of them. There was some lavender, a yellow flower Misaki thought might be an acacia, some red roses, lilies and violets scattered throughout... it was honestly kind of impressive for its small size.

“Kaoru, what...”

“Each of these flowers has a unique meaning, you see. Lavender, a confession of love. Red roses, for romantic affection. Marjoram, meaning blushes. Forget-me-nots, for true love. I suppose I need not continue. And, of course, lilies and violets are both classic symbols of love between women. Such a thing as this should certainly intrigue Kanon, should it not?”

Misaki still mostly looked amazed. “It’s... wow. I’m honestly sort of glad I asked you.”

Kaoru handed it to her. “Go forth, then. Let her fall for you.”

“Wait, now? She’s right outside, you know. What am I supposed to say? I don’t know how to...!”

“Speak from your heart and you’ll be heard. If all else fails, just say you love her.”

That wasn’t going to work. It might work for Kaoru, but Misaki was extremely stupid with love.

The bouquet felt heavy in her hands, but she took it. The colors all looked sweet and welcoming—perfect for Kanon.

“Yeah, I’ll do my best.”

Misaki opened the door with her left hand, holding the bouquet behind her with her right.

“That didn’t take long,” Kanon said. “What did she want you to do?”

Misaki quickly realized that it was now or never. “Well, I actually asked her to help me with something. Um, a while back.”

Kanon looked at her, seemingly intrigued, before noticing the hand behind her back. “Oh?”

“Yeah, so...”

Misaki revealed the bouquet, in all of its glory. Kanon looked at all of the flowers in awe, but she seemed unsure of exactly what to say. “Kaoru really got those for you? Wow...”

“Here, go ahead and take it. Wait, it’s heavy, so I can hold it and just give it to you when we get to your house.”

Her eyes widened. “Wait, this is..?”

“Uh, yeah! Actually. I just, well... you make me really happy, so I wanted to. Show my appreciation. Kaoru didn’t help me much with what to say, but... I love you, Kanon. I just think, uh, you’re neat.” Misaki flushed red as she tried to talk. “And I think—well, that’s not the right word. I want us to be more than friends. Uh, so, I think it would be great if we were girlfriends. I also think... well, you know...”

In the words of some great philosopher, probably, fuck it. Misaki touched Kanon’s shoulder with her free hand, allowed herself to lean forward as she tilted her head down, and her lips were on Kanon’s. Kanon was soft, with sticky lip gloss that tasted sweet, and kissing was even weirder than thinking about it, but Misaki thought this was good.

Kanon put a hand on her upper arm, slipping it down to her wrist until their hands touched, and she smiled into Misaki’s lips.

Yeah, this was really good.

It really only lasted about five seconds, but it felt much longer when Misaki pulled back tasting like Kanon’s lip gloss, with a little blush-pink mark above her lips where she had missed Kanon’s.

“Fuee... I... um, yes! To girlfriends, yes. Yes, please.” Kanon was smiling, almost dazed, from happiness. “I really like you, Misaki. I’m glad you’re always there for me.”

Misaki glanced up at Kaoru’s house to see her in the front window, nose against the glass, giving Misaki a thumbs-up. She promptly looked away, because she didn’t want to think about Kaoru trying to high-five her while she was trying to kiss her girlfriend(!).

“You’ve added a lot of smiles to my life, you know.”

It was a moment, all right. Kanon squeezed Misaki’s free hand tightly, giving her a gentle smile under the glow of the bright sun.

“Let’s go back to my house,” Kanon said, before realizing how it sounded. “Oh, not... not a date, or anything! I mean, I’m fine if you want to hang out, but I mostly meant so you could go home.”

Misaki thought for a second. “I’ve got a lot of work to do, but... we don’t have practice tonight because of the softball game, so I think I’ve got time.”

“Mhm! It’s a date, then! I’ll have to find a nice place to put this bouquet... oh, you can tell me what the flowers mean on the way back!”

Misaki was going to thank Kaoru heavily. After all, she was the one who motivated Misaki to say anything to Kanon in the first place.

And now she had Kanon with her, holding her hand, leaving lip gloss stained across her face. Yeah, she definitely owed Kaoru one for this.

“Hey, your lip gloss got a little smudged,” Misaki pointed out.

“Oh! Um, yeah, it would do that, right?” She laughed nervously as she tried to wipe it off, only succeeding with a small bit of it. “Is that better?”

“Yeah, a little. I can wipe it off, if you want.”

Kanon smiled. “I think you’ll just mess it up again once we get to my house, honestly.”

It took them both a minute to think about what Kanon said before they both turned bright red simultaneously. Kaoru would be proud.

“Yeah, let’s just... go,” Misaki suggested. “Uh, here, I can let go of your hand for a second to give this to you properly.”

Misaki handed the bouquet to her with both hands, and Kanon gave her the sweetest look as she accepted it, holding it close to her.

“I think it’s nice that you asked Kaoru for help! I mean, I’ve always looked up to you so much, so... it’s a bit funny, is all! I always thought I’d be the one to have to ask her... or that I’d just stay quiet forever, really. I mean—I get excited over things like jellyfish, and I cry a lot, and I can’t really find my way around, so I always felt a little pathetic even when you tried to lift me up.” The flowers hid Kanon’s expression, but Misaki began to worry.

“Well... you know how it is,” Misaki said. “I couldn’t like you less because of those things. I think it’s sort of cute when you get excited, and you’ve got a lot more passion than I do. And, you know, you’re tough and resilient, and you always try your best to help out the band. I think you’re just. Good.” She looked at her hesitantly, hoping that something like that cheered her up.

Kanon looked back at her, and there were tears welling up in her eyes as she smiled. “I’m glad! Um, I think you’re good, too!”

The sun still shone bright on them, illuminating the world around them. The bouquet was gorgeous, sparkling in reds and pinks and purples and blues, but Misaki decided then and there that it couldn’t compare to Kanon.

**Author's Note:**

> my reign of Gay Shit Posted At 3:00 AM In The Morning continues... everybody say thank you macklemore


End file.
